new beginnings.

maybe I don't want to fix things.
maybe I want them to stay how they are,
remain completely imperfect.
I always try so hard to win people over
to keep things steady
I beat myself up over the pettiest of quarrels.
But maybe I shouldn't.
I normally would never think such things.
Normally I would try to start small talk
(which takes so much for me)
I'd worry endlessly
I'd do anything for normalcy
I'd be a pouty little baby about it.
But this time, maybe things should be different.
Maybe I'll try not trying.
I'm just going to live my life
and not fret
and not struggle.
I'm just going to keep moving forward
and if things fall behind me and can't catch up
so be it.
so be it.
college next year.
that's where my head is.
I'm not even here right now.
All these things will soon be nothing
not even a memory.
the true will run alongside me
The others, well they'll do what they do.
I choose to be happy.
I choose to not care about what people think about me
I choose to not let people's actions dig into me anymore.
All will be forgotten.
All will be forgiven.
so be it.
It's all okay.